Addicts in the Wood

My name is Megan Sifter Cornswallow. Originally, I worked for a company that trained people to handle delicate group situations. Mainly our teams would work alongside Addicts, listening to them and offering a safe environment for them to confront their vices.

Recently, I finished my tell-all book -- Addicts in the Wood -- about my experiences with one particular group located in Hollywood California. Now, I realize that most people would find any revelations surrounding an Addict Group an extreme violation, but strangely enough, since none of my staff are actual doctors, the normal confidentiality agreements are null and void. And it's Hollywood, nothing is truly held in secret.

Nevertheless, I was enticed into spilling some of the tales spun in supposed confidence, because I couldn't sit idely by and allow one of my colleges to beat me to the punch. I figured I would give you all a taste in this blog, in order to entice you into running out to the nearest bookstore and buy buy buy.

One of the most shocking and possibly unbelievable stories I remember from the Addiction to Addictions group on 71st and Bovine, was a tale involving a rather attractive gentleman named Carlos Bigletter. Now Carlos was addicted to surgery...yes, plastic surgery. He told us all about his nose jobs and foot shaping, his lifts and tucks. Oddly enough from what I can recall, Carlos was not a bad looking man before the more serious operations, but hence the reason that he enlisted in our lovely little get-together. I'm not passing any judgment (at least not in this entry), but I sometimes wonder how people get so obsessed with changing themselves to fit a social mold. Most circles celebrate that which make us unique.

Carlos, however, wasn't interested in unique, but rather fitting in. He had so many operations that he felt he had to have. He listed the various new changes that he would eventually undergo. Face peels, skin bleaching and total body pulls. Some of these I wasn't even aware of, and most of the group found his check-off list a bit over the top (and that is coming from a group of Addicts). I, however, always remained completely above the circulation of gossip....well, until now.

Anyway, suffice to say, Carlos was a very interesting member, but it wasn't until recently that I realized how interesting he truly was. Several weeks after I rotated out of the group, I received an email that Carlos had stopped coming to the meetings. At first I didn't understand why this was such an important topic, but it was the last line of the email that truly sent me reeling.

It seems that Carlos had continued his operations, each one growing more and more extreme. Finally he dropped out of the social scene, stopped coming to groups, and completely disappeared off the radar. Strange huh?

Well, in the email I received, I was informed that Carlos had finally communicated to our head office, that he was so incredibly busy that he couldn't make it any longer. He thanked us for all of our support, but hesitated to go into any detail about what exactly had stole so much of his time. That was, until I read that last line.

Thank you everyone.
You really know how to support me.

Sincerely
Carrie Underwood.

I'm totally serious!

So, I guess Miss Thang is working her magic now. I just wish I would have known this when that season of American Idolizer was on. The whole show would have taken on a completely different light.

But, oh well. I just hope she can enjoy what she has and stop the surgical knife worship.

Hey, that's Hollywood for ya.