Non-Disclosure

Just sign here, and initial here, here, there, and there. Turn the page, good. Sign there and there, then initial on the little lines. I've marked them for you, just keep going. Its pretty much on the same on each page. ... How many? Twenty-four, plus the addendum which is three more. Oh, and the forfeiture document at the end.
So they tell me:

1. You see nothing.


2. If you see something, you tell no one.


3. If you tell someone, you will lose your job.


4. If you tell someone and they pay you, you will be sued.


5. If you are sued, you will be pursued for payment until the day you die.

And then they tell me:

1. You hear nothing.


2. If you hear something, you tell no one.


3. If you tell someone, you will lose your job.


4. If you tell someone, and they pay you, you will be sued.


5. If you are sued, you will be pursued for payment until the day you die.

And then they tell me:

1. You will be available 24 hours a day.


2. You will be available 7 days a week.


3. You will not be required to be available on the following holidays: Your Birthday, Christmas, New Year's Eve, Independance Day, Thanksgiving, Easter, Memorial Day, and Labor Day.

Personalized the list just for me. You can probably guess just how honored I was. Oh! And then, get this, they tell me:

1. You will never serve the following brands and/or items: Tim's Cascade Potato Chips, Velveeta, Perrier, tap water, non-imported Vodka, raw Mango (including relishes), unorganic vegetables.


2. You will never purchase or include any "generic" brand ingredients.


3. You will shop exclusively at Whole Foods, Trader Joe or the Farmer's Market.


4. You will serve sushi once a week for six-to-eight people.


5. You will never take your meal with the family.

Hmph. If it weren't for the six grand a month they're paying me to be their personal chef...But, that's Hollywood for ya.