Results May Vary

"Joan Lake...Melissa...can you both just start from the top. Read down till the end, but go ahead and read the parts left for Sissy Spaceack, she is auditioning for another Lifetime movie, but promised to be in before we air. Remember we are QVC, so make it sound good!"

"Go ahead whenever you are ready."


So you want to be a star?

Well do I have a message for you. Just think, in two weeks...just fourteen days you too can ride the roller-coaster of fame, up and down...up and down...and up.

That's right, if you act now all this can be yours. (hands to indicate the package laid out on the table)

And more.

All you need is this Star Career In a Box package, and you will be tasting the salty serum of success!

That's right. This SICAB includes none other then the same bottled libation that sent Lidsay Mihand to rehab, and T-shirts to be worn as mini-dresses (without panties preferably), and crack pipes, video cameras, plastic surgeons numbers...

(Insert funny reference to surgery)

Oh, mom you are horrible. But act now and we can also include this fantastic leather couch...for all those exhausting auditions you will be going on.

Wow! You can't be serious. All that?

And more.

We aren't kidding. This SICAB is just oozing out the juices of stardom. There are even instructions to figure which paparazzi you should have act as your boyfriend, or who you should blame if you can't sing, or what little jig works best if you forget the lyrics to your own song.

It's was tonsillitis I swear!

(Laughter)

So, get on your phones now and call in your order, these SICABs are already being picked...as the only thing you will need to reach the top.

That's right. And if you act now, we will throw in this amazingly beautiful red string recently imbued with the powerful energy of a hot starlet.

Wow! I can't believe you get all this and the red string imbued with energy from a starlet. And at only 19.99! It's a steal.

No, Sissy, it's a SICAB. The only thing you will need to ride the roller-coaster of fame up and down...

Down and up.

And up and down. For only 19.99.

(Laughter)


"Excellent ladies! That was wonderful! I think we are ready."




Results may vary.