Deep Thoughts on the Red Carpet

Hand on my hip, swish 'em while I walk.
  Stop at the line, one leg in front of the other.
    Its slimming.
      Its sexy.
    Its-
  oh SHIT!
Almost fell.
  Good recovery.
    Tilt of the head, just so.
      Ah, that's it.
    Jeez! So many damn flashes.
  Half-blind.
Can't see.
  Shit!
    Fixed smile.
      Oh God. Hope there's no spinach in my teeth.
    They'll cruxify me again in the Tabs!
  Toss the hair, that's it.
Flaunt the new bag.
  Who made it? Fuck! Balenciago? Balengia? Ballywhoo?!
    Just smile and nod.
      Good, point to the little logo decal.
    The dress? Vera Wang.
  Of course I think red is my color.
Excellent.
  Oh yeah, I'm totally wearing it for 'the cause'.
    Which cause? Uh-
      I mean.
    Awareness, of course.
  For what?
Er- AIDS?
  That's right. AIDS Awareness.
    Mm-hmm. Its like a really big ribbon.
      Nod politely, step down the row.
    Gods, its like another hundred yards to the end.
  I think this dress is cutting off my circulation!
I can't feel my fucking FEET!
  Can't breathe.
    Cant' breathe.
      Deep breath.
    Is that the chick from E! - I think so!
  Get ready to smile.
And 3, 2...1... Flash it.
  Hand on my hip, swish 'em while I walk.
    Stop at the line, one leg in front of the other.
      Its slimming.
    Its sexy.