The Other Side Of Elegance

Its not all just photoshopping, you know? There's a lot, I mean a lot of hard work by real people. Yeah, I never did understand how girls in the real world want to go around trying to acheive this stupid, shallow - not to mention super-phony - level of so-called beauty. They simply can't. It can't happen.

Okay, so weeks before they walk down the red carpet, maybe even full-time if they're important and rich enough - there is the diet. Personal trainers every day, working out for upwards of two or more hours. There is a personal chef or dietician or someone delivering healthy food.

Then there are the professional, movie-quality make-up artists painting every visible inch of flesh. No shit, they paint and primp and curl and shellac everything to Barbie-doll perfection. Mink eyelashes to get that perfect, non-spider-eye look. Can't get really plump, long Hollywood lashes with Cover Girl Mascara no matter how many celebrities show up in their crappy-ass commercials.

Tape and corsets and all sorts of binding go into making those dresses fit just so and stay on. Custom-made hairpieces to fill-out that glamazon style, borrowed jewelery, borrowed handbags and just about everything else. Not to mention the soft lighting, filtered lenses and just the miracle of good-angles and a talented photographer.

All that BEFORE a single artist touches his pixelated brush to the photograph.

Yeah, its a lot of work to keep the A-, B-, and C-list looking their best. Hells, if my petition every went through and we stopped portraying these bitches as perfect models of natural beauty the economy would sink and hundreds of people, thousands maybe, would be out of work.

*cough* Uh, I mean... April Fools'. Of course those gals are naturally beautiful. Perfect by God's touch.