Pitchin' It Out of the Field

"I've got it! Okay, okay...just listen to this!"

It's a story about a wayward girl who gets caught up in a mystery. Kinda like Adventures in Babysitting meets The Terminator. There will be kids. It will be a kids movie. Kinda like Narnia meets Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I'm thinking that we will start out with a large explosion and some very emotionally charged music. Yeah, yeah. Kinda like X-men meets James Bond. That's it!

We will have to have an A-list actress. I'm thinking Sandra Bullock. Kinda like Speed meets Dangerous Liaisons, only for kids. Come to think of it Sandra would be a perfect mom. I'm thinking Dakota Fanning as the girl.

I'm thinking we will pitch this to Disney. Those guys over at Bunea Vista will eat anything up. They love a kids movie with an edge. There will most definitely be some animation. Kinda like Enchanted meets Finding Nemo with a little bit of Final Destinations thrown in for good measure.

Of course I'm talking about making an epic picture. We will need locations. I'm thinking Britain and Zimbabwe. Harry Potter meets Out of Africa. Are you seeing this?

And there will be a twist. There is always a twist. The girl is going to find out that she is a robot, but it's a funny thing. Kinda like Artificial Intelligence meets Harold and Kumar.

But it's smart. There will be lots of good, witty dialogue. I'm thinking something like Juno meets 28 days later.

Of course we will have zombies, who doesn't like zombies. In fact I think that the girl will have a best friend who's a zombie, but the zombie is animated. Kinda like Sherk meets Resident Evil. Isn't that good!

And we will have to have some really respected British actors. I'm thinking Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewert. Something like Lord of the Rings meets Star Trek, only instead of a spaceship I think we need an Eco-vehicle, you know to promote the environment. Maybe something like a super-Prius that runs on Denise Austin, you know the fitness lady, she always seems so psyched.

The bad guy? Oh yeah, we will need a villain. I'm thinking something dark. World domination. Or maybe the whole universe. Kinda like Star Wars meets Dr Evil from Austin Powers. That would be super dark.

And there will most definitely be a love interest. Someone like Brad Pitt, only younger, because the girl and her zombie best friend are going to fight over his affection. Maybe something like Thelma and Louise meets Cruel Intentions. Cause you know someone is going to get bitch-slapped.

And we are going to have to have a great director. Someone who knows how to keep the audience on the edge of their seats, like the guy who did the Blair Witch Project. Something like that and Aliens, with a bit of Shakespeare in Love. That's the director we have to find.

Oh, and we can't forget a lovable creature that wrecks havoc because they don't know any better. And plenty of sidekicks. Kinda like King Kong, Sex and the City and Cloverfield combined. But for kids.


That makes sense doesn't it?